Don't fuck with my handshake

Am I the only one that gets pissed off when going for a handshake, and the other party latches onto your hand in such a way that YOU are left in the position of having the less than optimal handshake?

Motherfucker.

Wait for my the inside of my thumb to hit the inside of your thumb before you close your grip.

Worst of all though...

People who force a shit handshake on you, then squeeze the fuck out of your hand as though to rub in the fact.

The only reason we're having this shitty handshake is because you pincer-clawed me early, don't try and blame me with all that muscle flexing down your forearm.

End.

Light up the darkness

In December 1976, two days before "Smile Jamaica", a free concert organized by the Jamaican Prime Minister Michael Manley in an attempt to ease tension between two warring political groups, Marley, his wife, and manager Don Taylor were wounded in an assault by unknown gunmen inside Marley's home. Taylor and Marley's wife sustained serious injuries, but later made full recoveries. Bob Marley received minor wounds in the chest and arm. The shooting was thought to have been politically motivated, as many felt the concert was really a support rally for Manley. Nonetheless, the concert proceeded, and an injured Marley performed as scheduled, two days after the attempt. When asked why, Marley responded, "the people who are trying to make this world worse aren’t taking a day off. How can I?"

From : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley

Nu Kops

Last night, at 1:30 in the morning, me, an old female friend, and two guys she knew had the benefit of being on the receiving end of a pair of brand new cops flexing their newfound power.

Or hey, maybe they were "just doing their jobs".

Yeah, right.

Winding up at the end of my going away dinner/mini-party on Monday night in Wellington, just the awesome couple whose couch I was crashing on, and the longstayer girl I was shooting shit with, all in a little house on the very edge of the inner-city.

That girl ducked just outside to catch up with another friend who was going away the same night, and as I later found out, would be at Wellington airport at the same ridiculously early hour as me, but going to another part of Australia.

A few minutes later I step outside onto the street to say goodnight to her as I'm about to hit the couch, and shock-motherfucking-horror, I do so with about a half of a Kingfisher beer in my right hand.

Yeah, you can guess where it goes from here.

I'll elaborate further when I can be fucked, it's a saga of bullshit that follows. I think a "letter to the editor" is seriously in order.

P.S. As I write this, I'm sitting in Sydney airport, my connecting flight having been delayed, and my exhaustion threatening to take over completely. FUCK YEAH!!HH!H!HA

SCIENCE!

Just because we can do a thing, does not mean we should.

Simply because science opens up new avenues and pathways, does not mean we ought to walk them. There are some things best left alone, but I won't go giving you a complete list of my personal "do and don't list" of science.

There are a few points I will touch on though.

We have the means to engulf our world in flames, to destroy this fragile planet many, many times over. Paranoia has driven competing nations to manufacture and stockpile thousands upon thousands of these weapons.

At times all that has kept our species from pouring untold destruction onto our neighbours is the knowledge that they could push their own little red button before the fire fell from the sky. The only thing keeping us from wreaking untold destruction, is mutually assured destruction.

There is no black and white, life or death barrier keeping us from pushing the boundaries in other areas though. That enormous gray area known as morality.

"Why not?"

That seems to be the catchall reasoning for pursuing every questionable area of research. It can be put more eloquently than that, but what it boils down to is simply this.

The first question instead needs to be.

"Why?"

Why not clone humans?
Why clone humans?

This topic gets my goat something chronic. Put aside all the broad moral reasons why we should avoid this as a species, and consider instead the individual.

Imagine BEING that first cloned child, the first cloned human being.
Imagine having all that celebrity and fame (or infamy) thrust upon you from the moment you were "conceived".
Imagine finding out what you are, and having to deal with this horrifying fact.

"The programmed reproduction of man will, in fact, dehumanize him." - Leon Kass

Discovering a sense of self is already hard enough in this increasingly homogenous world, without the added weight of being some cunt's copy/paste experiment. I am quite sure that there are enough human beings feeding off of this planet, that we don't need to start cloning more.

My Jerry Springer final thought...

Why do we have so much fear of death, yet so little reverence for life?

Yelling

You can never change a persons mind by yelling at them, never.

You will only achieve one of four outcomes.

1. Frighten them
2. Enrage them
3. Entertain them
4. Bore them

I enjoy when people yell at me, they are at their most ignorant and therefore most hilarious while enraged.

I don't enjoy yelling at others, almost without fail I will make an ass of myself in raising my voice.

Ahoy, change ahead

Fuck fuck fuck.

It's time to leave the safety of the farm and venture out into the big hostile world again.

Think positive thoughts.

Things will go well, I'll get a good job, "And live large. A big house. Five cars, you're in charge. Comin' up in the world. Don't trust nobody got to look over your shoulder constantly."

Oops, I love that song.

Boredom

Is having nothing left to say at the moment.

I need to digest something, that I might shit out a golden turd.

Serenity

Is having nothing left to worry about at the moment.

Contended sigh.

Throwing stones

If we wait for someone without sin to throw the first stone, then only those who don't give a fuck will be throwing them.

I know a motherfucker when I see one, and I've got stones in abundance.

Lob.

Sarah Blasko and Bertie Blackman

Soothes the beast, mine anyway.

Good music is good.

Judgemental as

Reece Witters
Caaaarl
Will Stovell

You guys sorting your shit out or wat?

Don't like me saying this? Do something.

YTHM

Unwarranted self importance fail.

Smashed em bro

Love brought me to the door, hate kicked it down
I no longer need to breathe smoke and spit fire
I no longer need to stoke my funeral pyre
A deal with the devil, my fingers crossed
He's too busy gloating, thinks I've already lost

Pats me on the shoulder, smirks as he dies
I chopped him in half, the beginning of our new lives
You can look me in the eyes now love, you can trust what you see
As all that's left now, is the very fucking best of me
Can you please, please, please forgive me.

BE A GOOD CUNT!!!!!!

"Albi the racist dragon" loves you all so very, very much

Freud.

Fuck him, and his mother.

Older men.

Hang out with them goddamnit. Don't run with a spankbottom manboy crew for your entire youth.

Talk to your friends parents when you're at their house, and when you bump into them in the street, say hi to your teachers if you see them out and about, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

It was one of the best things I could ever do to work for a year in a suburban sports bar.

The men there were dicks, they were rude, they argued with me, they scowled at me, they felt like shit after crossing the line from time to time, they thought about what they said after they said it, and they most definitely pushed my limits, goddommot fronk.

They were GOOD CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!

AIDS FAG NIGGER CUNT

Aids, AIDS.

AIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDS

Fag, FAG.

FAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAGFAG

Nigger, NIGGER.

NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER

Cunt, CUNT

CUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNT

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, now doesn't that feel better?

Now, to kick arse and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta gum.

3 Second Rule

If you see something wrong going down, you have until the count of 3 to intervene.

If you cannot manage that, you're an "innocent bystander".

Faildo is failget.

This expectation doesn't apply to children, as they learn the habit from watching the men around them.

BAGC lyrics #1

Hold her in your right hand, and guide her safely home.

Zao - Angel Without Wings

All hail the acronyms.

ADD/ADHD = Being children but their parents can't handle the fucking jandle
SAD = Lamest acronym ever + not being a flatliner
Depressed = Incapable of smiling cluelessly through the lies and bullshit
Three Strikes = You're out
NRA = Guys (and gals) with guns, that's all
FCASTUHXC/XXAGV/XAGSAHGX/AXFASBHA = Too many letters, self important bullshit.

And most important of all

BALLS = WE FUCKING HAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you look upon the world from an extreme viewpoint, it is going to look extremely fucked up. If you look upon the world from a plain old honest viewpoint, it just looks plain old fucked up.

We can handle "plain old".

Toast

That bar was awesome, I met every person I cared to be in contact with after the night was over, and my limbo was done, in that incredibly weird bar.

There were of course a share of dickheads, but it was the only place in town I could go to meet GOOD CUNTS!!!!!!!

Queanbeyan

I did one night in Q-town, and it was ruined 3/4 through when I brought the same bullshit little boy mindset from Canberra-central out to a good friends 21st, and when the being really wasted came on, I did in bro-town as one would do in Rome.

What a fool.

Thinking about that night still devastates me, for two reasons.

1. That I was stupid enough to think that your average Australian woman could hear me refer to her awesome uncle as a "good cunt" without shrieking like a fucking banshee for a couple of her pet boy-men to turn on me.
2. That I left my balls there, sitting on the ground, about 30 minutes following, and getting pissed off at the coolest man conversation I had in that entire country, when a clever man told me that I was carrying a head full of shit.

What a big little boy I was. I apologise profusely to Willy's end of night crew.

One. Simple. Rule.

BAGC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bombing women and children : for teh lose

If we want to resolve this "evil" shit, don't try to punish rotten hearted men by blowing up women and children that they give the merest of a fuck about.

Go into each village, town and city, and have the good women pick out the rotten men who need to be thrown into a hole.

Start over.

"Motherfucker, I'll watch you buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn."
The Bronx - History's Stranglers

Naming names

I decided to take the names out of my last entries, I'll reserve judgement for a little while longer. There are three guys in particular who I've not ever seen front up to their shit. Have a word with me, online or face to face. If you think you're one of these three guys or are afraid I've seen filth with you as well, don't be a stranger.

I can't assume that these three read my blog, but if noone cares about them enough to get word to them then, they'll be named.

Fuck the cunts.

Faildo is failget.

End.

My G-g-g-generation : An unbridled rant.

Gisborne Boys High School is the microcosm/little thing that represents the big thing of a national problem.

A ruthless pecking order was (is still?) retained for the purposes of, what, producing men?

Have we considered the kind of man, though.

That is one stage in growing up, finding and flexing your nuts. We can easily forget that we need to evolve day to day to day to day to day to ad infinitum.

Forget to take our heads out of our arses, basically.

The slips doled out upon having stood up to the domineering father-figures (the particular teachers I'm talking about would know who they are) that were meant to guide us, or getting in a fight with one of our classmates, you know, childish stuff.

This only taught our teenage and adolescent minds that doing this was how you got into bro-town, and the respect of our peers, some of them at least.

This mindset is clearly unhealthy, leading to the 200 person parties ending in a near riot at the back, causing untold hassle for the police. People doing wrestling moves on each other in class as jokes, for no good reason, and no doubt even more extreme idiocy that I never personally experienced.

These were the mark of our graduating years, late 90s to early 00s by my count. If I missed out your year, but you insist that you're staunch too, well con-gratu-fucking-lations.

I remember getting my first Friday after school detention, and it being double-take time for the outdoor assembly when goody-ten-shoes me had to stand and be acknowledged.

Instant degree of a silly sort of notoriety.

I look at my friends, and by extension all the men in Gisborne of quarter-life-crisis having age.

We have all this reckless pride, but wasted it, and some of us continue to waste it, on jousting with each other and hoping that someone was watching.

While we're so occupied, butting heads with headbutters, the villians slipped past us, to our women and children.

What are we doing to ourselves?

Wake up New Zealand.

THAT was the message in Once Were Warriors. (a review)

You idiots!!11141ONE112!@3$#

P.S. Now a girl write up the female version of this.

P.P.S I wanna give a shout-out to Ray-Ray and Big Steve

P.P.P.S Watch Warbrick.

edit - trim down the negativity